Dear Maureen,
I recently moved into an apartment after a divorce and, while it's lonely being on my own again, I'm trying to see the bright side--like how everything is always where I left it and no one has eaten my tomato sorbet while I was at work! I'm trying to make this place feel like a cozy little home and I've got the furniture in a practical arrangement, but I'm kind of stuck when it comes to the finishing touches. I'd love to display all my favorite little treasures my ex hated and I now have the freedom to enjoy, but when I try to arrange them on shelves and consoles, it just looks janky and sad. How do I get that pretty, professional look seen in magazines?
-Flummoxed in Dickshooter, ID
Dear Flummoxed,
Of course you want to build a new nest after a big life change! A comforting, supportive, encouraging nest where books, bowls, and banana vases look collected, balanced, and alive, and not like a haunted museum that whispers tax advice at midnight. This tutorial will bring interior design down from the heavens and directly between a lidded box full of moonbeams and your collection of spaghetti Westerns.
Step 1: Remove everything from the shelves.
Completely clear off each shelf, then sort all your treasures into gentle piles--all the large items together like books, platters, plants, meteorites, and picture frames, then the medium-sized items together, then the small items in the last pile.
Step 2: Zigzag the large items down the shelves.
Every shelf needs a leader. Not a tyrant, unless the tyrant is a charming lamp shaped like a pear, but an anchor piece that will lead curious villagers to unexpected glory. Place one large item on each shelf in a loose zigzag pattern starting at the top. This will create retinal movement as well as a backdrop for the smaller pieces. Avoid centering everything all the way down, because that will look stiff, like the shelf is waiting for a passport photo:
Step 3: Place a medium-sized item near each large one.
Not immediately next to or directly in front of, but a little off to the side, or a little in front of, or on top but off-center, like Batman and Robin:
Step 4: Add a small item to each of these groupings to create a triangle or mini vignette.
Vignette comes from the French word vigne which means "vine," so vignette in French means "toll tax receipt" or "medical reimbursement label." The human eye enjoys triangles because they seem stable, ancient, and less likely to ask for reimbursements. So you see, shelf styling is really just a collection of small vignettes:
Step 5: Follow the same pattern for the empty spots.
Keep zigzagging to avoid placing two of the same grouping types directly next to or below each other. You can also place one large item by itself, or a medium-small together with no large. Corral very small objects together on books or trays so they don't run away. Scattered tiny pieces often look like decorative crumbs.
If you've run out of items but still have gaps, shop your own home first. Items from other rooms can feel new in a different arrangement. If an item matters deeply but looks visually chaotic, add more chaos on the other shelves to balance it out.
Books are excellent bricks for emotional buildings. Place some horizontally, some vertically, and some facing the audience. Use a horizontal stack to raise a small object so it feels uplifted and capable:
You can experiment with grouping themed items together so they communicate a fun story about your vacation to the Catacombs or your ambassadorship in Timor-Leste. Otherwise, you can repeat colors and materials along your zigzags. Space out your brass items so each shelf has some, and space out your plants, books, and commemorative mackerel tins. The room will notice because the room is always watching:
Step 6: Photograph the shelf before declaring victory.
Take a quick photo with your phone. A photograph flattens the scene and reveals odd gaps, leaning frames, and that one objet d'art behaving in a suspicious manner. Adjust your items as needed.
The final shelf should feel calm, useful, and vaguely extraterrestrial:
So, dear Flummoxed, I wish you the best on making your new home your favorite place during this new chapter in life. And have you tried collard greens ice cream from Georgia, or asparagus water ice cream from Texas, or beef tongue ice cream from Japan?
Don't.
Yours regardless,
